Happy Halloween! This is the day when we teach our children a very valuable lesson about taxes and how and why we pay them. It can also be a very valuable lesson about cavities and tummy aches too, but we won’t be covering those today.

It’s important for our up-and-coming taxpayers to understand why they will eventually pay taxes and why Mommy and Daddy pay them. (If Mommy and Daddy don’t pay them, they really, really should. It’s the law. Let’s set a good example here).

A good portion of our tax dollars go to help build roads, schools, parks, and libraries. If no one paid their taxes, we wouldn’t be able to have and enjoy these nice things. In that same manner, if you want to enjoy the nice things that you have here at home such as food, clothes, toys, and books, you’ll need to pay up to keep Mommy and Daddy happy and energized enough to be able to do these nice things for you. Sometimes that payment comes in the form of chocolate. I don’t think it’s too much to ask to have to pay a few pieces of candy when Mommy’s coffee has gone cold again because she was chasing you around the house trying to wipe the peanut butter and jelly from your entire face.

If you want to dive even deeper into a tax lesson you could talk about “sin” tax. Just like the government charges a higher rate of tax for alcohol and tobacco, I think it’s also fair for Mommy and Daddy to get an extra Twix bar when you’ve refused to pick up your toys after you’ve been asked multiple times. Did you have a meltdown at the grocery store earlier? That’s going to cost you two Reese’s Cups. I really hope that you didn’t just rip up your library books, that may cost you everything you got from the Maple St. cul-de-sac.

If this lesson doesn’t work, you can always just remind them that this is a dictatorship and then just take all of their candy.